2/6/09 All Day

This is my blog these are my thoughts and I am going to be honest about them. I got on the scale again this morning and there was a gain from Monday. I almost burst into tears. I have been working this I know I am on the right track and I know I am going to get there. I know I didn't put the weight on overnight and I know that I am not going to lose the weight overnight but there are days like today that I hate my body. It has always done this I can go weeks without losing anything then all of a sudden I will drop several pounds all at once. Then I'll stay level or gain a little and then suddenly one day several pounds is gone. And the cycle continues. I had hoped that particular cycle was done since I lost consistently over January but yeah apparently that's not going to happen. Mentally I know that I will reach my goal but emotionally I just want to cry. I've gone through all the thyroid tests and they were normal so that's not an issue it's just my body doesn't like the scale to move.

Mentally I know that I can wear pants I haven't worn in two years which is a huge accomplishment. Emotionally I want to see a smaller number on the scale. Mentally I know that I am doing the right things. Emotionally I want to see a smaller number on the scale. Mentally I know I cannot and will not give up on this. Emotionally I want to go buy ice cream and say eff it I'm just going to eat it all. Mentally I know that's the wrong thing to do so it wasn't done but oh was it thought about........

Monday is my weigh in and I will probably see a gain again. I have to be ok with that. My eating has been 100% and my workouts have been 100%. Today I did take my workouts from 100% to 150% by adding in more throughout the day. I might need to start getting up at 5:30 to get an hour of cardio in before work at least 3 days a week. Not what I want to do but ya know what this is not ever going to be an easy journey for me so I have to realize that I am going to do whatever I need to do that is healthy to get the weight and inches off. I am doing this for my health, and for my family. I want to live a healthy life and I want my daughter to see me living a healthy lifestyle and I want it to be one she can mimic. I AM in this for the long haul and I am going to get over this plateau gain. One of these days I'll wake up and be 20 lbs lighter reading this going HA I remember when. I'm ready for that SERIOUSLY ready for that.

B: 1 serving cream of wheat w/ a banana
S: small apple and string cheese
L: 1.5 chicken enchiladas (leftovers from last night it was supposed to be 2 but dd ate hers and wanted mine ok cool)
S: cottage cheese and yogurt
D: turkey burger patty w/ brown gravy and mashed potatos
S: fruit shake w/ protein powder, strawberries, banana, orange juice, and I think he put in yogurt and there was definitely ice in it too.

Workouts: Are you ready for this list? 45 minutes 3 mile walk away the pounds, 15 minutes jog in back yard back and forth and timed, 20 minute walk w/ Roo, 30 minute powerwalk around entire neighborhood w/ family, 30 minute biggest winner back in action (I think it was that one I know it was a biggest winner and focused on the back LOL)

So today I have kicked it up on exercise. I am going to get there eventually.